I do not owe it to you. I owe it to no one but myself.
Without being shameless I will accept that I have made mistakes, I am only human.
Today I thank You for your unconditional, overwhelming love you showed and Your patients and Your love that did not relent no matter how much I put You through. Thank You for low expectations, for allowing the pajama days, the nights I kept You in and the occasions You missed because You put me first. I thank You for utter understanding even though many times I’m sure You did not. There are many people, in fact, most would not walk over the bed of thorns by my side like You did, I raise You up in praise and celebrate who You are and liberate Yourself for changing someone’s life.
I understand You more then likely have no feeling at all, that is fine, but I do not. I lay in the sheets we laid in and I often think of You and how you are doing, my dreams tell me stories at night that I wish so dearly were real. But that are not. And we are not. And that’s okay.
I will still love You for a very long time, You not only hold a peace of my heart but a stukkie of my soul, but its okay, I’ve lost so many piece and I still know how to be whole.
I’m sure You feel ashamed for leaving at such a time because You just couldn’t listen to me whine, and its okay, it’s allowed to be that way.
I waver my incorrect diagnosis, my path to burn out, which disrupted and destructed our relationship. I simply could not cope with anything let alone the little things. I beg You to continue to communicate your feelings towards people before it’s too late.
Learn from our love that at times people aren’t mature enough to be in a situation and work with certain things, and that is okay. You were not created to give birth at two so don’t feel ashamed for situations You couldn’t handle too.
You will not come back, and it’s okay, You will not come back, and it’s okay
I have to remind myself if not once then twice maybe even three times of the realities I face everyday.
I miss You, and it’s okay.
I love You, and it’s okay.
I’m alone, and it’s okay.
I’m without You, and I’m okay.
I can stand on my feet and gracefully know I never have to apologize for anything I don’t want to but rather that I owe it to myself to come clean. I hope You take this with gleaming eyes and courage, because that’s what it took for me.
I hope You are well precious one.
Have a good day.